How to change the world with one unique paw shake

Last updated on March 3rd, 2020 at 10:44 am

There’s a heck of a lot of things I could do if I had thumbs, real thumbs. I could use the can opener to feed myself when the humans drag their heels serving us breakfast, I could take up crafts and make my own cat toys. And stealing catnip from the treat cupboard would be like taking a ball of yarn from a kitten. It’s What if Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day and cats and dogs around the world are taking this day to think about the many tasks that we could accomplish if we had opposable thumbs.

Humans are primates and have thumbs which they think give them a certain superiority over Felis Silvestris Catus. But don’t get too smug about your thumbs, human, because I have something special too. 

My humans call me Jimmy Fancy Feet because I do have thumbs, sort of. They’re not opposable thumbs, but they do give me a certain edge when it comes to things like shoveling snow in the catio after a winter storm. Yes, snowshoeing is one of my favorite winter games. My paws also have great ‘smacky power’ during a smacking session with one of my furry housemates. But these things, though very practical and functional is not what makes me special.

I have a pawsome paw shake and I’d like to use it for the greater good of humanity, that includes all sentient beings.

Don’t believe the hype about cats are evil and want to take over the world, given the chance. In movies, we’re almost always depicted as the evil villains but that’s just promoting fake news. Opening canned food, knitting my own hat, or conspiring to take over the world, while all legitimate causes that would get my thumbs up, is not what I aspire to. I believe that what the world needs now is a change for the better for all life on earth. And of course, cats can certainly still aspire to world domination, but for the greater good of all species.

And how can that be accomplished by a mere paw shake, you may ask?

You can inspire your humans to take it further, to their workplaces and beyond.

Now I don’t claim to speak for all cats. After all, I have a housemate who thinks he was born to rule the 7 cat Kingdoms. Yes, I’m talking about my friend Baggy who would love nothing more than to have thumbs to run amok. He would probably text The Lady Cat all day long while she’s at work, leaving whiny messages such as “If you don’t bring me those treats I will just have to knock another glass off the table.”

But don’t worry, nobody, not even Baggy, can sway me off my path of doing what is right, righting the wrongs and cleaning up the mess that you humans have made. I don’t have my sights set on ruling the 7 cat kingdoms. But I want all kingdoms to live with a consciousness that extends beyond their borders. If having opposable thumbs means that change is imminent, yes I want to use it. I want to extend my paw shake as a small gesture with a big message.

How my thumbs can change the world

Below are a few of the things I believe in and most can be done with or without special digits.

• I give the most awesome handshake. It comes at the right moment, it’s poised, non-threatening and never over-bearing. Watch my video below in which I teach The Big Man Cat to give a proper handshake that speaks from the heart.
• I give free hugs. When they let me out of my cage at the shelter to greet The Lady Cat for the first time, I hugged her, embracing her neck with my puffy paws. She fell in love instantly.
• Last year I “Embraced the Earth with Kit Gloves” on Earth Day and I intend to do the same this year in April.
• I give great head massages with my big gentle paws.
• I promote love wherever I go. See the heart-shaped tails that Charlie and I made in the picture above.

At the risk of sounding like a beauty pageant contestant, I really do want world peace.

What are your dreams and fantasies about having opposable thumbs? Are you Team Baggy, raiding the pantry and making your own catnip cookies, or do you just want world peace?

Love and paw shakes from Jimmy Fancy Feet

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