So it’s Pi day – A Cat Weighs In

Last updated on March 14th, 2019 at 09:55 am

March 14 is celebrated annually as Pi day and the tradition of eating pie is welcomed and encouraged by Math geeks and non-geeks alike. Pi is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and this number, regardless of the size of the circle, is always the same: 3.14159….an infinite decimal. It’s a great excuse to get away from your desk and join your colleagues and indulge in a slice, or two. But I’m a cat and I don’t work so I’m hoping I will be handsomely compensated when the humans get home from work.

I have discovered I have a lot in common with Pi or π (the symbol). Like Pi, the ratio of my circumference to my diameter was also a mathematical constant, and like Pi, eventually, I lost approximately 3.14 lbs. But before you go ahead and stuff your face, please read my story…

While Pi is a constant, it’s also supposedly irrational. Let me tell you what’s irrational. When they told me I had to lose weight six months after moving to Canada! First she ups and moves and takes me out of my comfort zone to a new country. I became an indoor cat and shared my space with a drooling hound. Then I ended up falling in love with my food and eventually I reached a weight of almost 16lbs. The cherry on the pie was when she posted an embarrassing photo of me on Facebook, comparing me to a gourd! Yes, the circumference of my tubby belly that resembled a gourd, remained so for a long time. I tried all the gimmicks in the book, from feeding gadgets to play time…. My HuMom and Dad tried everything.

I have to add that exercise was never my strong point. The only activity I did was sauntering towards my food bowl, saunter yes, because I never did anything in a hurry, what’s the point of that. I have always thought that the ideal state to be is complete inertia. If using human terms for body shape, I would be an endomorph, unlike my longtime pal, Sarabi, the Bengal, who is built like a cheetah. She just seems to burn calories in her sleep! I swear she must wake exhausted from all that burning, maybe that’s why she doesn’t shut her pie hole! (pun intended)

But one day in November in 2013 the humans decided to adopt some younger punks. At first, I thought this was unacceptable and voiced my disapproval. After much hissing and cursing, I decided perhaps I needed to get physical with these youngsters, just to teach them a lesson. But as time went by, I actually started enjoying these wrestling sessions and would seek out my younger friends for a match. After one month of wrestling and being chased up and down the stairs by these rambunctious ‘yoots’, I started noticing that I can groom better in my nether regions and I felt rejuvenated. Even my stomach pains subsided and I changed from a grumpy old man to a confident leader of the pack. I developed new-found energy and zest for life. My round gourd-like belly was looking rather slim and I started regaining my youthful lithe shape from my cat showing days.

Today I am very happy with my shape and my vet says that I am now a good weight and am quite healthy for a soon-to-be 15-year-old geriatric cat! My advice to you is don’t lose weight too quickly, watch your caloric intake and the key to a youthful and lithe kitty shape is plenty of exercises.

Watch me chasing Da Bird!

Now you may go ahead and have that pie, just don’t make it a constant! Happy Pi day Folks!

UPDATE: This post was originally written in 2016 before Earl Grey’s CKD diagnosis. He lived a good life for two years until his 17-year-old body could take no more. He left this world for the Rainbow Bridge on December 1, 2018 when he asked us to grow his wings.

Earl Grey, who brought joy to many, will always live on in our hearts.